Growing our Family However God Sees Fit

The verses that have been heavy on Tate & My hearts lately are "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18, and "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27.

Back when Tate & I were just dating, we talked some about adoption. We had thought that maybe one day we would adopt a child into our family. We knew that it would probably not be in the traditional sense of adoption where we would go to Russia or China or somewhere in Africa and pick out a child from an orphanage. We felt it would be something different. At that time, the only possibility on our minds was maybe a teenager in the community or church that needed someone to adopt their child. It was a far off, after we have our "own" kids, thought that we didn't really have plans to follow through with in the near future. Well, as always, God's plan for our lives was a little different than our plan...

Early in 2011 a book was suggested to us. Not thinking much about it we got it and started reading. We both quickly realized that it was more than just another book. It touched us both and convicted us about adoption as a realistic way to build a family as well as reminded us about our responsibility as Christians. The basic message of the book is that we as Christians have been adopted as sons and daughters into God's family and therefore should be at the forefront of adoption of orphans in the US as well as around the world. It reminded us of the gift we have been given but by no means deserve. It also laid on our hearts that there are so many children in need of homes and we have a "home" but no children. One idea that the book gave was when you are thinking about building a family, consider pursing adoption along with biological means and allowing God to build your family as he wishes, that way adoption is not a last resort if all else fails. This was something that we were very intrigued by but just stuck in the back of our minds for when we were more ready to start building a family.

Then in June Tate was asked to start doing some new research for work. The organization he works for currently works in 13 countries, but all of their work is international. He was asked to start looking into the orphans in our own backyard and what it would look like for the church in America, specifically Kansas City, to care for the orphans in their community. Through countless hours of research we became increasingly aware of the foster care system and the orphans stuck in this broken system. We had always known about foster care but that was something for "someone else" and had never considered it personally. Also, I had never been aware of the fact that there are children whose parental rights have been terminated and are now orphans moving from foster home to foster home to group home waiting for someone to adopt them, or more realistically for the older children, waiting to turn 18 and age out of the system. The numbers are staggering. Every year there are over 100,000 children available for adoption nationwide through the foster care system. On average 50,000 of these children are adopted. This means that there are over 50,000 children every year getting older and less desirable and their chances of adoption go down. Also, in Kansas City there are over 700 children immediately available for adoption.

700 orphans in our own backyard, except no one calls them orphans. Somehow by saying they are "foster children" we can ignore the fact that they have no family to take care of them and are bouncing from home to home. This allows us to ignore the orphans in our own backyard and instead focus on the more publicized orphans of Africa or Haiti. I am not saying that there is not huge need there, but I am saying that there is a real need here that is ignored because there is a system that is supposed to be taking care of them. This laid very heavy on our hearts and with a few discussions with friends from church already involved in the foster care system we felt a very big need to get involved.

So as a way for Tate to do more research into the system as well as get our family started we signed up for foster care classes starting back in November. Fast forward to today, we have now completed our 9 classes, 3 home study visits, and a few piles of paperwork. We are now considered "Professional Parents" by the state of Missouri and are waiting for the rough draft of home study. Once our awesome worker from the state of Missouri finishes our home study, we sign a copy of it, sign contracts with Missouri, and wait for phone calls.

We are somewhat limited in our age range but are more open to which children we will be taking than when we first began the classes. We went into the classes thinking we would only take children that are immediately available for adoption, but as we were learning more about the children in care and the needs, we are planning to open our home to traditional foster care as well as adoptive children. There is a huge need for families willing to open their home to children who need it for a short period of time, anywhere from 30 days to 18 months. It is also a huge ministry opportunity for not only the children in your home, but also the families you come into contact with by caring for their children for a period of time. We would one day like to adopt out of the foster care system, but are happy to be used as needed until the right child comes into our lives.

As of right now we are open to taking newborn up to 5 year old children, and will be taking only 1 at a time. There is a small possibility of sibling overload where they might place 2 children with us if they are siblings they are trying to keep together, but for at least the first 6 months we should only have 1 child at a time. We are also leaning more toward children with special needs as these are the more difficult children to place. Almost all of the children in the system are delayed in one area or another (mental, physical, emotional, speech, etc) due to neglect or abuse and many just need a caring home willing to spend extra time with them and get them the resources they need to catch up. There are also quite a few children with medical special needs like a feeding tube or breathing treatments or ventilators. With my medical background and the wonderful facility I am working for, we feel like we are equipped to take children with some medical special needs and especially ones with physical delays.

Thanks to the super generous donations of Tate's family, we are set to take infants up to 5 year olds. We have at least 2 outfits in every size and gender from newborn to 5, a crib that converts to toddler bed, a changing table and many other things a mother of 4 (or 11) thinks of that a mother of none does not. Also "Santa" brought us a brand new car seat which was the last large piece of equipment we needed to take a small child. When we get a call, the child can be in our home in less than 24 hours so it is a huge relief to know that we can get by for a day or two, or even just make it through a night with a new placement before an emergency trip to Target. Some of the children will come with clothes and a few toys, but most will come with the clothes on their back and nothing else.

So as of right now it is a waiting game. Once our license is open we will likely start getting calls the next day. It is going to be difficult realistically deciding in 1 phone call what we can and can't handle, but we are excited about the children that will be coming into our lives and excited to see what God has in store for us!